“Hello, my name is Unimportant Person, and I represent Bigass Money-hungry Bethesda. I am here today to let you all know that, somehow, without the knowledge of our pure (in)-breed Hell Hounds (which, if I must say, are constantly watching over the company's treasury ), a copy of Fallout 3 was leaked, flushed and obliterated into the hands of criminal gamers that should be raped in the ass in prison. Of course, we had nothing to do with it. No, Sir.”


There we have it. Before launch, Bethesda's attempt at making the Fallout universe politically correct is already beeing played by some keen X360 users all around the world. Good for them. I still wonder how the hell this version got UNINTENTIONALLY (yeah, right) in the hands of some random users, and not the PC version. Because, you know, we are used to pirated PC stuff first.

The guys over at Tom's Games are thoroughly investigating the matter, while officials from Oblivilol's mommy and daddy are trying to figure out if this is the final release code, or some earlier build.

I remember Street Fighter from the dawn of mankind. At least, from the dawn of my first pub hair. Or maybe earlier. We are vigorously awaiting the release of this Street Fighter 4 game, but, until then, here's a pretty amazing trailer, filled with Jet Li fighting scenes and lots of Chun Li.


I still have issues, though, after seeing the Jean Claude Van Damme movie all those years ago. Jesus Christ, that was worse than a Hungarian trying to speak English. And Chun Li is not that young anymore...

I don't really know if I should laugh or cry when I look at this - not to mention the fact that I am still not getting it. Blizzard is, was and will be one of the top notch game producers ever invented by loli Jesus, alongside BioWare, Black Isle, 3DO and Westwood, so I usually do not question their motives when they decide something in their marketing strategy. But their latest thing seems a little... curious.



BlizzCon, the almighty place where all geeks meet either to jerk on some naked Blood Elven chick, either to discuss Blizz's future products, was the place where they announced that Starcraft 2 will actually be a trilogy, singleplayer-wise. As in, three different games. As in, no, you will not get them all-in-one. As in, HUH?

Because of the fact that its storyline is supposed to be “of epic proportions”, the game cannot be shipped just in a mere ONE bundle, so we will get a standalone campaign for each and every race. Terran: Wings of Liberty, where our old pal Jimmy Raynor does his usual “I have no place in this freaking universe” thing, Zerg: Heart of the Swarm, where Kerrigan might actually leak those naked pictures of her when she was young, and Protoss: Legacy of the Void, where the Protoss will probably be as gay and retarded as ever. With a new Matriarch. Each campaign will feature up to 30 missions, all, of course, fully enjoyable.

Now this is turning out to be my favorite news for the day. Actually, this kind of news used to give me a boner when I was young, stupid, and believed that all Japanese high-school girls are virgins, horny, and that they will relentlessly give me multiple blow-jobs just for the fact that I look so awesome.



Alone in the Dark. We all know what came of it, sadly. I do not want to be the herald of bad reviews here, so just browse your internets for some results on the matter - the point is, we had a game with extremely good and solid concepts, but with such a poor execution, that even Jack Thompson would refuse to sue this game for his (need of) violent issues.

But wait. WAIIIT! We still have the PS3 version on the way, and Atari decided that it is time to re-invent the wheel. At least to fool people into believing that. How? First of all, shamelessly stamping a new name on the poor game, which will be known as Alone in the Dark: Inferno and which, according to certain statements, will be completely revamped. Improved inventory system. Ok. Free camera movement. Ok. Plus certain tweaks and “fixes”. Ok.

We all know them. We have all heard about them. The menace of social life, the top of the geekdom iceberg, the Laetitia Casta of gaming and the laughing stock for all those cheapscake Romanians who would rather cut down their penises and create illegal (singleplayer) servers all for themselves, than to buy and pay a monthly fee for an original game - they are called MMOs.

And, by God, we have tons of them. We have free MMOs, we have expensive MMOs, we have cute MMOs, we have violent MMOs, we have porn MMOs, hell, we even have that thing called Age of Conan, trying to prove for sometime now (and failing) that it is not a pile of crap. Yah, we have them all.

In the recent light of patch 1.02, Warhammer Online: Age of Reckoning (which I have bought and played up until level 2, alt-tabbing to my Sunwell raid after that), seems to be doing pretty good so far, just weeks after release. Impressive. The ladies at Mythic have just announced that their little baby hit 750,000 registered users, all mad fighters for law, justice, Waaargh, and various other Warhammer related shit. Like candies.



This game holds surprisingly good so far, with solid core gameplay, good RvR arousement and (early) ejaculation, and while we await for the much promised (and not released at the start) content, we'll just have to take a look at Wrath of the Lich King and Mines of Moria, the new expansions for the other two MMOs out there. And for the awesomeness of Age of Singleplayerconan, lol.

1UP scoop.

With infinite kindness, the girls at Steam are now accepting preorders for the very much anticipated Far Cry 2 and, to convince their customers even further into buying the game, the whole package comes with an amazing 5 USD discount. Just the right amount of money to buy that Bentley you have always dreamed of.



Alongside this, Steam is also swiftly delivering copies of Xpand Rally Xtreme, plus an updated version of their client, just to make people a little fuzzy inside. Far Cry 2 will ship on October 22.

Now that Fallout 3 is Gold and ready to ship into stores soon, the dearly beloved folks at Bethesda decided to let us know what to expect, when it comes to hungry system resource management. So, if you are still childishly thinking this game will be any good, or, at least, that it will keep a minor portion of the REAL Fallout... touch, then feel free to admire its requirements, for the PC Version.

 (...)

 Continue reading 'Fallout 3 System Requirements'...

An official press release just came out recently, stamping a North American and European release date for Mines of Moria, the (almost) awaited expansion pack for Lord of the Rings Online. Tolkien fans from all over the world will be able to bask in awe, as the game comes with new additions, items, things, a texture of two, all of which can be admired while players will try to retake Khazad-dûm from the minions of Saruman.



Even more, for the European preorders, the game comes with exclusive bonus items AND a lifetime membership for only 149.99 EUROS. I wish other MMOs would take on the same marketing strategy, but alas, other MMOs make enough money just the way things are right now. The expansion is set to launch on November 18.

If you are still shivering in pain and agony, wondering if your soon-to-be number one reason for computer addiction will work on your computer, fear not, because almighty Blizzard, in their infinite and candid lust to satisfy their customers, have revealed the system requirements for the upcoming World of Warcraft: Wrath of the Lich King expansion. Here we have it:

Processor:
Minimum: Intel Pentium 4 1.3 GHz or AMD Athlon XP 1500+
Recommended: Dual-core processor, such as the Intel Pentium D or AMD Athlon 64 X2

Memory:
Minimum: 512 MB RAM (1GB for Vista users)
Recommended: 1 GB RAM (2 GB for Vista users)

Video:
Minimum: 3D graphics processor with Hardware Transform and Lighting with 32 MB VRAM Such as an ATI Radeon 7200 or NVIDIA GeForce 2 class card or better
Recommended: 3D graphics processor with Vertex and Pixel Shader capability with 128 MB VRAM Such as an ATI Radeon X1600 or NVIDIA GeForce 7600 GT class card or better

For the Mac specs, check the official post here.



Speaking of satisfied customers, I would just like to thank Blizzard for the incredible amount of fun it gave me in the English Beta. It was so awesome, testing that log-in screen for 90% of my time... I guess I actually had sex with that damn dragon by now.

Sequels are becoming so... yesterday. Or the day before that. It's either publishers getting lazy and covered in too many layers of cash, either the fact that, well, an expansion is easier to make, no one needs to create anything new from scratch, you have your engine, you have your shiny effects.. so just throw a few more multiplayer maps here and there, a singleplayer campaign to mess you up a bit while smashing AI heads with a blunt polearm, and, voila! Halo 3 Recon is up and running.

At least, it will be, somewhere in the rainy Fall of 2009. That is, if we will be getting any Fall by then. Story-wise (*gasp*), no more Master Chief for you, folks, just some random, nameless and personality lacking ODST Marine, who just happens to look like Master Chief.