Some people like to betatest games, while others don't. Prior to the European Wrath of the Lich King Beta, I was proudly a member of the first half, but after that rentless mass murder of common sense, patience and last bits of humanity, I decided to take a break, keep my sweat inside and let it loose only when the actual game comes out.



But things are about to change. And not because it's yet another Blizzard game, but because Starcraft is one of those little jewels that made college life (ignoring retarded individuals, skipping exams and such) much more easy to bare. It seems that, according to Blizz's Paul Sams (chief operating officer), we'll be getting our Starcraft 2 Beta “in the coming months”, so stay tuned for that extremely lucky invite. Because I bet it won't gonna be easy to get it.

Ze Source.

As usual, when we talk about Starcraft 2, we all go “WTFFFS WHY??". It is normal, and absolutely decent. Because a game that comes in three fucking parts smells like a milk cow. Even if Blizzard says it does not.

Recently, Speaking with Videogamer, Blizzard's Paul Sams started to spit so many “NOHEZ” words about this issue, that even I tend to call him a bull crap. As I said before, this merger between Activision and Blizzard will eventually lead to serious issues. We have Starcraft 2 in three parts, then Battle.Net on a pay roll, then... who knows, fucking Diablo III monthly fee, mayhap.

The fact of the matter is, it's absolutely, positively untrue about us trying to stretch it out and milk it. People think that it was a monetary driven decision. I can absolutely, positively tell you, with 100 per cent certainty, that that was not part of the conversation. I guarantee it. I give my word. There was never, ever a conversation where we said, 'let's do this because we're going to make more money'. I guarantee it. As a matter of fact the sole reason we did it was because we thought it was going to be a better experience. Anybody that says otherwise is not correct. It is absolutely not what we did it for.

Source.

Since subscriptions are running wild in World of Warcraft, and Battle.Net is still free of charge (for now), Blizzard has decided that it would be a good time to ban some more cheaters from its incredible awesome servers. Very, very good. Cheaters are bad. They do nasty things and smell like polar bears. I wonder if they will ever do something about that gold selling thing, it's really getting nasty.

As part of our continued effort to ensure a fair and fun online experience for all Battle.net players, we have expanded our efforts to remove cheaters from StarCraft and Diablo II. We have identified and closed over 350,000 StarCraft and Diablo II accounts which were found to be using third-party hacks.

The Diablo II CD keys associated with the closed Diablo II accounts are now restricted from playing on Battle.net for approximately 30 days. Repeat offenders will have their accounts closed and their CD keys permanently banned from Battle.net. As a reminder, we reserve the right to close the accounts and ban the CD keys of players who are caught cheating on Battle.net. Cheating ruins the game experience for legitimate players, and we will not tolerate it.

MMO players can be divided into two categories: the ones who play World of Warcraft and the ones who WILL play World of Warcraft sooner or later. A sad fact it may be, but it seems that the only way to actually quit playing Blizzard's massive milk cow is to quit playing MMOs alltogether. Just like I did.


During a recent earnings report, Blizzard's president Mike Morhaime has shown us a few very uninteresting numbers, also mentioning that, unlike some enthusiasts may have predicted, large numbers of players that have “quit” WoW recently, in the light of would-be competitors like Age of Conan and Worhammer Online, are slowly, but steadily, renewing their WoW subscriptions. Because the other games just plain ol' suck.

So, according to him, 68% of those dumb enough to think Age of Conan will be a big hit are coming back to WoW with their tail between their legs, while 48% of those who listed Warhammer Online as reason for cancellation... are doing the same. See any pattern here? Because there is only one pattern. There is no way in Hell a MMO game can challenge WoW at this moment, and win.

Source.

What a time I found for quitting WoW... again! Not only is the Lich King unleashing his Wrath in less than a month, but today the big-bad patch 3.0(.2) is being deployed, giving players a taste of things - and inevitable patch-fixing patches - to come.

As any WoW player and his lolpet knows by now, this latest major update is called "Echoes of Doom" and brings more changes and additions than you can read while downloading it; no matter how bad your connection, or how huge the patch. And it's HUGE, like 1.6 GB worth of porn downloads. Not to mention the patch notes are longer than a Wednesday morning maintenance; and we've all had those... So you might want to start reading those official patch notes for v3.0.2 right away.

You won't be seeing this screen for much longer.

Below I'll only slap the "General" section of said patch notes - should be enough to get you through a pack of cigs. So enjoy the read, and I'll see you in-game. Oh... wait... wasn't I quitting WoW? Again? (...)

 Continue reading 'World of Warcraft Patch 3.0 Deployed'...

Blizzards's Rob Pardo, Vice President of Game Design, had a recent chat with the very versatile Sticks of Joy, clarifying for them (and for us, and for the rest of the world, actually), how's it like to be producing a single game that will ship into three separate episodes. Yes, ladies and little sisters, we are, once more, talking about Starcraft 2. Or, maybe, Starcraft 2, 3 and 4.

Last week's news about the game being split in three, due to its "massive" and "epic" content was not a pleasant one, indeed. People would have expected a final product that they can devour in one setting, but hey, the strings are being pulled in different directions. Pardo insisted on the fact that the second and third campaigns are, unlike the "original" Terran Starcraft 2, NOT being considered as separate products by Blizzard. They are, let's say, the equivalent of expansion packs, so that's why the company does not think separate release dates will affect the game's overall quality. So the only thing we will miss, while waiting to play the Protoss and the Zerg, is the singleplayer component.


About timing, Pardo had no exact figures to set to the table, but being the speculative man he is, he heralded one year time between each part of Starcraft 2. Just like they are doing with World of Warcraft, where expansions are scheduled to be released in the same way. Long story short, we will buy the game in 2009, and we will get to fully enjoy it by the end on 2011.

Whenever you say Blizzard, you say Battle.net. Whenever you say Battle.net, you say free services and servers provided by Blizzard for their online community. This big badass company has been facilitating the virtual life of its fans for as long as I can remember, feeding them with decent and stable servers for their non-MMOish titles, such as the Warcraft and Diablo franchises. Fun times, indeed.

... Up until now. According to Big Download, things are about to change very soon. While covering a Diablo III gameplay panel at this year's BlizzCon, game producer Jay Wilson said something in the lines of:

"We are looking to monetize Battle.Net so that we get to keep making these games and updating features. We kind of have to."

Obviously, this will piss off fans like never before. I mean, many of them already frowned when Blizzard started to stare more at their profits and less at their fan base, with World of Warcraft squeezing large amounts of money each day, and with Starcraft 2 being cleverly sold as three separate games. But now, this?

The "good" news is that we have no details about what this "monetizing" actually means, or if it is aimed at the gamers themselves, or at some random advertising companies. Will we be forced to pay a monthly fee? A one-time fee? Or will we be staring at Coca-Cola commercials on every fucking Battlecruiser, while wiping the floor with the Protoss forces? Time will tell.

By the way. I find it peculiar that all these "clever" marketing strategies, specially designed to bring more income at all costs, have started right AFTER Activision got their paws on Blizzard. Hmmm...

And since we're casually exchanging thoughts about World of Warcraft, let's stop for a bit and take a look at this here “casual” gamer. His Internets id seems to be Bradster and, unlike most multi-boxers out there, this guy boasts with rampaging Azeroth, Outland and (soon-to-be) Northrend with no less than 36 different accounts simultaneously. Yep, you've heard me right.



While he is a keen Horde player also interested in future solo raiding (I am expecting a “how to solo Sunwell" video when he dings 70 or 80), his main reason for this is the PvP factor. Mostly, world PvP. Beause we all know Arena is the suxx0r and that resto druids and dpslolrogues are overpowered.

This guy spends around 5711 USD per year to feed his hungry subscriptions, and intends to throw another 1500 USD down the sink when Wrath of the Lich King comes out, spending this otherwise promising pile of cash on 36 copies of the expansion. His ultimate goal? Invading Stormwind, leaving Onyxia's human form pregnant (oh, wait, she's gone), and then invading Ironforge and leaving the Gnomes pregnant. With a fucking overdose of Osama Bin Laden-like nuking power, I hope.



He uses a total number of 11 computers to do this, and his crazy idea basically involves a group of drunken, berseker-mode level 80 Orc Shamans, which are currently somewhere in the 60-70 bracket.

Well, what can I say. I wish him luck and thank God he is not on my server, since I play Alliance. A ganking extravaganza at the hands of a freaking 36 angry Elemental Shaman crew is not something I would like to witness.Over the jump you can bask in awe, reading this guy's own statement regarding this. (...)

 Continue reading 'How To Solo Sunwell With 36 WoW Accounts'...

Being a World of Warcraft player myself, every time I click on the Internets, following some random WoW news-related thing, I just hope it is not yet another “welfare” announcement. And, since this year's BlizzCon was overcrowded with more interesting news, mostly regarding Diablo III and Starcraft 2, World of Warcraft's presence was incredibly scarce.

Thank god for WorldofWar.net and the likes, dedicated sites and personnel who know what questions to ask (and, most importantly, WHEN to ask them. I remember a retarded Hungarian would-be editor who worked at a Romanian magazine, asking the Diablo III crew questions about WoW, at last year's GC).



One of the recent press conferences held at BlizzCon featured a question regarding paid in-game character customization, a feature that has long been promised. Sure, we have the barber shop and all, I can get rid of all my pub hair (and Dwarven chicks can actually shave those damned hairy breasts of theirs), but this was something different. Jay Allen cleverly avoided the question until the end, just like a drunk cat on a hot tin roof, but he had to give in after a while - Yes, folks, we WILL have this thing called paid character customization. While, just like it always happens when it comes to Blizzard, we have absolutely no details about this whatsoever, we can all try and... visualize. I think i'll be getting my hot Night Elven chick a penis, just for the lulz.

I don't really know if I should laugh or cry when I look at this - not to mention the fact that I am still not getting it. Blizzard is, was and will be one of the top notch game producers ever invented by loli Jesus, alongside BioWare, Black Isle, 3DO and Westwood, so I usually do not question their motives when they decide something in their marketing strategy. But their latest thing seems a little... curious.



BlizzCon, the almighty place where all geeks meet either to jerk on some naked Blood Elven chick, either to discuss Blizz's future products, was the place where they announced that Starcraft 2 will actually be a trilogy, singleplayer-wise. As in, three different games. As in, no, you will not get them all-in-one. As in, HUH?

Because of the fact that its storyline is supposed to be “of epic proportions”, the game cannot be shipped just in a mere ONE bundle, so we will get a standalone campaign for each and every race. Terran: Wings of Liberty, where our old pal Jimmy Raynor does his usual “I have no place in this freaking universe” thing, Zerg: Heart of the Swarm, where Kerrigan might actually leak those naked pictures of her when she was young, and Protoss: Legacy of the Void, where the Protoss will probably be as gay and retarded as ever. With a new Matriarch. Each campaign will feature up to 30 missions, all, of course, fully enjoyable.