Say hello (again) to Mr. Jack Thompson, our fine and dandy Florida attorney. We love him, and we know you love him too. In the ass. The gaming community, be it publishers, developers or gamers, has been forced to deal with this debatable individual for a long time now, whenever something completely unrelated shows up.

Does daddy rape his little, innocent daughter? Sure thing, it is because he plays too much Solitaire. Does mom jump off World Trade Center in a desperate try to draw her husband’s attention? Must be that level 70 Tauren Druid involved. For absolutely every crime possible, Jack Thompson will find a game-related reason. Because he is an attention whore.

Well, recently, it seems he has been trying too hard. So hard that, besides his case of explosive dihareea, the Florida court has almost politely asked him to show up and explain in public why he is being a complete Jackass and abuses the legal system to get his penis larger (at least in front of the mirror).

02/19/2008 ORDER-SHOW CAUSE
TO: JOHN BRUCE THOMPSON
It appears to the Court that you have abused the legal system by submitting numerous frivolous and inappropriate filings in this Court.

Therefore, it is ordered that you shall show cause on or before March 5, 2008, why this Court should not find that you have abused the legal system process and impose upon you a sanction for abusing the legal system, including, but not limited to directing the Clerk of this Court to reject for filing any future pleadings, petitions, motions, letters, documents, or other filings submitted to this Court by you unless signed by a member of The Florida Bar other than yourself.

As usual, Thompson's high morale, due to the right raid buffs, is amazing. His reply was superb, worthy and memorable. And completely idiotic, but that is another story:

This is the single greatest gift that any court has ever given me in my 31 years of practicing law. I shall now, through a new federal lawsuit, deconstruct The Florida Bar ... This court has threatened Thompson. He does not threaten back. He hereby informs this court that he will see it in federal court.

Game Politics scoop.

An interesting interview with Microsoft’s John Schappert is up on Eurogamer. Quite interesting. Amongst others, the corporate official mentions that their little X360 baby sold pretty good in all these years, topping no less than 18 million units. While I do not know if this includes re-stockings caused by the dreaded Ring of Death, Microsoft is happy. Hell, its employees must have reached a simultaneous mass orgasm. To sum things up, here is a little digest of the interview, which can be found here:

Eurogamer: Yo.
John Schappert: HI GUSY

Eurogamer: Soo…. 16%.
John Schappert: Yep.

Eurogamer: How many folks risked their savings to get a glimpse of the shiny ringy thing?
John Schappert: 18 millions, lol.

Eurogamer: kk.
John Schappert: kkthxbai.

Well, at least someone is concerned about the fate of Warhammer Online: Age of Reckoning. Stephen from Bluesnews (also known as Blue, due to the fact that he doesn’t go out much, and the ultra-violet lamps he uses to grow up weed in the basement have taken their toll on his skin), followed some earlier rumors, according to which EA’s anticipated MMORPG has been pushed by its pregnant publisher to some indefinite release date. GamesIndustry.biz were the ones who provided the said rumor.

Well, Bluesnews contacted EA and thoroughly questioned them about the presumptive delay, only to find out that Warhammer Online is still on track, and that will hit the store shelves somewhere in Q2 2008. Thank God.

Hopefully, at least this one will show up before WotLK.

I’ve always been a fan of opening up interdimensional portals and bravely sneak into little girls’ bedrooms. Portal was the first and only game so far that allowed me to do that in the virtual world, too. So just imagine my surprise and joy, when Valve’s Kim Swift mumbled something about a sequel in a recent episode of X-Play – more puzzles, more fun, more over-the-top physical bullshit.

If you watch the file mentioned above, you will notice this clumsy employee of theirs stating somewhere that Lombardi, the Valve Guru (and perhaps leader of a sexual-themed cult involving lots of beautiful women and no men at all), has already announced Portal 2, in a previous statement. Well… I guess he missed a couple of daily public relations spreadsheets.

Anyway, Portal 2 is official, mind-numbing poison 2 is official. Time to stalk little girls some more.

"Champions Online is going to be unlike anything MMO fans have seen before"... You must be thinking - who could possibly be so self-centered, so out of touch with reality and with common sense, to make such an idiotic statement? I'll tell you who: Cryptic Studios. Since their previous project, that Marvel MMO was clearly too fucking awesome to be released (which would perfectly explain why it was cancelled), they decided they don't need Microsoft or any other publisher to tell them how much they pwn. So they took matters into their own hands, and are now planning to self-publish their next game, Champions Online.

Well, that much we knew already, but now we have some new details announced for this superhero MMO, along with some early screenshots.

"Champions Online, based on the popular pen-and-paper Champions RPG, will give players the power of total customization of their hero experience while they explore a vast universe of richly detailed 3D environments. (...) Champions Online is all about total customization - it will offer a near infinite amount of character customization so that all players will have a unique game experience. Gamers will be able to create their hero's name, back story, costume, powers and abilities as well as design their own personal arch-enemy and his or her back story, which will guarantee a truly unique experience."

If this sounds like your kind of game, then by all means, feel free to read more about it on its website. For the rest of us, the only other thing worth mentioning is that Champions Online should be released on the PC and Xbox 360 in spring 2009. Not that it will make any difference.

 (...)

 Continue reading 'Champions Online Details, Screenshots'...

Here's a little something to wash away that sorrow of seeing the Wii version of Civilization: Revolution cancelled put on hold last month: 2K Games announced a release date for the latest chapter in Sid Meier's 17-years old series, on its remaining platforms. So, without further ado (but with plenty of screenshots below), the PS3, Xbox 360 and DS versions of Civilization: Revolution are to be released on June 6. Lovely, and now for the accompanying PR'ish game synopsis.

"Built from the ground up solely for console and handheld gamers, Sid Meier's Civilization Revolution features fast-paced, pick-up-and-play action involving strategic global domination and history's most intrepid leaders, as well as a highly competitive multi-player experience. Sid Meier's Civilization Revolution brings the renowned Civilization franchise to consoles for the first time, delivering the vast re-playability and unmatched addictive gameplay that has become synonymous with the works of Sid Meier. New graphical touches and a streamlined interface will transport the Civilization franchise to a level that fans have never seen before."

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 Continue reading 'Civilization: Revolution Dated, Screenshots'...

It wasn't a secret anymore that the third game in Volition's literally ground-breaking action series would be titled Red Faction: Guerrilla, after last week's revelation, but pretty much everything else was still unknown. Until, that is, THQ made a proper announcement yesterday, clearing a few details regarding the shooter formerly known as Red Faction 3.

The most striking change is that Red Faction: Guerrilla will be a "third-person open-world action-shooter" (ok, those are actually two striking changes), and of course that it will be released for all three heavy-duty platforms - PC, PlayStation 3 and Xbox 360. The game will keep its signature destruction-based gameplay, and even "redefine its limits" as they say. The story will take us back to Mars, 50 years after the events of the original Red Faction (good thing there's no mention of Red Faction 2, since I couldn't be arsed to play it).

"Players will take the role of an insurgent fighter with the newly re-established Red Faction movement as they battle for liberation from the oppressive Earth Defense Force. Throughout their fight for freedom, players will carve their own path, wreaking havoc across the vast, open-world environment of Mars, from the desolate mining outpost of Parker to the gleaming EDF capital city of Eos. Utilizing improvised weapons, explosives and re-purposed mining equipment and vehicles, Red Faction: Guerrilla allows players to tear through fully destructible environments in an unforgiving Martian landscape swarming with EDF forces, Red Faction resistance fighters, and the downtrodden settlers caught in the cross-fire. Red Faction: Guerrilla will also feature a robust multiplayer component, including several modes focused on destruction-based gameplay."

For now, a tentative release date is set for fiscal 2009, meaning that it could come out anywhere between April 2008 and March 2009... at the earliest.

Having shown the new Scrin unit "Mechapede" in a trailer earlier this month, EA is issuing this new batch of screenshots from GDC, for the Command & Conquer 3: Kane's Wrath expansion. Preetee colorz! Marching in shops this March.

Sure enough, Nintendo was among those who tried to leave their mark on this week's GDC 2008 event in San Francisco. That's not to say they actually succeeded, but at least they announced / confirmed a new round of release dates for some of their upcoming products - namely WiiWare, Wii Fit and Super Smash Bros. Brawl.

First come, first served is Super Smash Bros. Brawl, set to kick into retail action on March 9. I don't think this Wii fighting game needs any more introduction, but just in case I'm wrong, these few trailers should enlighten you in no time.

Next, on May 12, comes WiiWare - the new game download service that got us (or at least myself) marginally excited. One of the early games developed for WiiWare we already mentioned in our previous news about LostWinds; another notable one will be Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles: My Life as a King by Square Enix; and a new episodic game series from Telltale is also on its way.

Finally, Wii Fit will be released on May 19, complete with a "weight-and-motion-sensing Wii Balance Board" which may or may not prove useful for other kinds of games. Like... skiing? Just a thought.


Wii jokes just ain't what they used to be...

One of the first products tailored for Nintendo's upcoming game download service, WiiWare (which launches on May 12), is a cute little platform adventure going by the name of LostWinds, currently in the works at indie studio Frontier Developments - better known in the '90s for their Elite series. As described in this week's announcement, LostWinds is a high quality, enchanting adventure bursting with new gameplay ideas that embrace the innovative controller of the Wii.

"Built with Frontier's in-house 3D game-engine technology LostWinds puts "the power of the wind in the palm of your hand" as you wield the awesome powers of Enril the wind spirit - from raging tornados to the gentlest breeze - to guide and protect Toku, a young boy who is the only one who can help you release the curse placed upon the world of Mistralis by evil Balasar. Mistralis is a stunningly presented, magical land full of wonder and intrigue that bursts to life with your every action and exploration. The game's novel, playful control mechanism lets you use Enril's elemental powers to help Toku in your quest to overcome Balasar - powering his jumps and glides through Mistralis' different regions, buffeting and smashing enemies, and solving puzzles."

More about this unremarkable good-vs-evil story can be found on the LostWinds website, and here's hoping the gameplay itself will be at least as remarkable as the screenshots below.